Perfect presents for women- avoid the present pitfalls

Submitted by MarkeD

It is one of the most challenging tasks in the world. The task of buying a woman the perfect birthday present is something that many men will never complete with total success. The familiar tone of voice and look of the eye that your favourite woman bestows upon you as she explains that she really doesn’t mind what you get her, as long as you think she will like it. This sentence is the cause of many late night sweats and last minute man-panics.

Of course after years of experience and the acquiring of a certain amount of wisdom we all know that the first half of the sentence is completely meaningless. It is the “as long as you think I will like it” part that picks the painful punch. This means (to a woman) that WHATEVER you get her, she will believe that this single offering reflects the way you see her and then in effect, the way she will then become to see you. For example, if you get her a CD that she hates she will think you are cheap and that you have bad taste. As a result she will think that she must have bad taste in men as you clearly are not sensitive enough to pick up that she would hate the songs then subsequently she will slowly start to go off you.This is not a lie.Most men are adept enough to avoid the obvious present pitfalls but just in case here is a recap.

1) Chocolates are out. Totally naff unless they are made by Fotnum and Mason, have been featured in vogue or are accompanied by a trip to a luxurious spa hotel.

2) Flowers. No, no, no. She is not your mother.

3) Clothes. Unless she has told you exactly what she wants and in what size and has tried it on, do not buy it. If it is too small she will think she is fat and then not want to sleep with you until you reassure she is not a million times. If it is naff (see CD) If it looks slutty (which you might like) she will assume you want her to look like a hooker and then question you about why your such a chauvinist pig.

4) I won’t even insult your intelligence by telling you not to buy her any kind of building tools i.e. cordless drills or the like. This is obviously relationship suicide no matter HOW nice the drill is.

The less obvious pitfalls include

1) Jewellery. Unless you are very rich and can afford heirloom status symbol jewellery then don’t try this one. Women’s fashion moves far too quick for the heterosexual man to keep up so if you want to offer her anything less than a large diamond or a Tiffany (some women now even view Tiffany as pase) then take her to choose something directly from the shop of her choice.

2) Handbags. Completely underrated as present buying material, if you get a classic designer handbag made of soft leather and wrapped in a dust bag she will not be able to resist. If you don’t know what colour she will like then just go for that year’s best seller. If you get something from Marks and Spencer…God help you.

If you have an arty girlfriend then buying an original piece of artwork or photography is a very romantic gesture. Leaving it on the canvas without the frame and wrapping it nicely will make the gift seem original and spontaneous. She will also love that you thought such a gift of art would be perfect for her, even if she does not love the actual subject of the painting or photograph. A weekend away in the country or the city (abroad if you are rich) will win unlimited brownie points with ANY girl if you can afford it. Hope these tips help, good luck guys!